Ron's Regal Revenge
by petethehotdog
Summary: 32 years after the Second Voldemort War, Ronald Weasley, the #1 Most Wanted Wizard, gets caught in a robbery and sentenced to be executed in two years. On the day of the execution, a fellow prisoner helps Ron escape and exact revenge on his captor. Written for QLFC Season 3, Round 6 (LL Round 3). Warning: Blood, Torture, Satanic Rituals/ Ritualistic Killing, and Character Death.


**Hufflepuff**

 **Beater 1**

 **Crime**

 **(9) history**

 **(12) keyhole**

 **1687 words**

 _ **Ron's Regal Revenge**_

"Come on, Ron! Just stick the bloody bobby pin in the keyhole and get out of here!"

"I can't, Hermione! You very well know about the horrible relationship between me and needles. I'm going to end up accidentally stabbing myself again!"

"I don't freaking care, Ronald Bilius Weasley! Your poor past relationship with needles is just that: the past! Do you want to go down in history as the guy who could've escaped prison but didn't because he was afraid of freaking needles of all things? Or do you want to be known as the first man to break out of the New Azkaban prison? And, on top of that, your execution is scheduled to happen sometime between three and four hours from now. You literally have nothing to lose!

"Just go on and make history! Forge your own path deep into the historical archives of the next generation! Do what we didn't get to finish last time: kill Harry freaking Potter! Get revenge on that snobbish, rich Lord. Mutilate that bitch he calls his wife, too. And don't forget our plans for his sorry kids. Make them wish they had never been born. Exaggerate their pains and sorrowing. Revel in the gut-wrenching sounds of their pleas for mercy. Do it, if not to make history, for me."

"Fine. I'll try working with the bloody needle. This will work. For history! For my dearest Lady Hermione!"

At that, the bobby pin finally cooperated with him, and he successfully opened the door. No longer would he be seeing nothing but gray. No longer would he be confined to his cubicle prison cell. No longer would he be a mediocre criminal dirt bag. No longer would the name Ronald Bilius Weasley bring laughter to the mouths of the public people in conversation. No longer would Tom Marvolo Riddle, otherwise known as Voldemort, the Dark Lord, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, You-Know-Who, and Moldyshorts, be the most feared Dark Lord in the history of the Wizarding World.

No, from here on out, the most feared Dark Lord would forever be Ronald Bilius Weasley, the first wizard to ever escape from New Azkaban to continue reaping havoc on the towns.

New Azkaban, before Ron and Hermione came along, had existed for 34 years, being founded shortly after the end of the Second Voldemort War. Its features were very simple: Each cell was 8' by 8' by 8' cube. There was a quaint toilet on the left wall, a lumpy twin bed on the right, and a cat flap on the cell door for the Prophet and food to enter the room. Learning from Sirius and Barty, New Azkaban was outfitted by complete anti-magic wards. No animagi, potions, apparition or wandless magic are allowed. Hell, not even Legilimency or Phoenix travel work in New Azkaban. And the biggest feature was the color scheme. Everything was exactly the same color. The walls, the toilet, the bed, the bowls, the food, and the bars are all exactly the same shade of light gray. Most inmates went insane by the fifth day.

After breaking out of the cell that had confined him for about two years, Ron navigated through the same bland-colored hallways for a few minutes before reaching the exit.

As he exited, he saw a sight that he had seen often in his recent existence; the sky, hidden by a thick blanket of clouds the same specific shade of light gray as the prison.

Ron then began the epic journey back to the mainland by diving into the freezing cold water. Leveling off, he swam a grand total of 18 strokes before his hand started hitting the bottom of the body of water, signaling the end of the epic journey to the mainland. The journey was only epic because a lack of exercise over the two years previous saw him take 45 minutes to swim those 25 meters. Pausing to catch his breath, he began a trek to the heart of the city after a few minutes.

Luckily for him, New Azkaban was located just about a mile from Lord Harry James Potter's house, so when he reached the town, there were signs everywhere pointing out how to get to his house. Honestly, people never learn.

It only took Ron a quick ten minutes to find Harry's house. Sadly, nobody was home, although, there was massive storage of food that Ron sunk his teeth into. Even though New Azkaban served him barely anything of substance for over two years, he still had retained his younger self's appetite, and within an hour had consumed 6 pounds of food.

He was about to open the meat drawer for some turkey when he heard the door open and sounds of merry laughter and happiness filled the empty halls. Ron, realizing that this would be the perfect opportunity to fulfill his promise to his Lady, grabbed a couple of knives and stealthily crept out of the kitchen into the shadows.

15 minutes passed before Harry entered the kitchen to prepare dinner for his family, Ronald not included. He may have been his brother-in-law, but he was persona non grata in the Weasley and Potter residences.

Unaware he was being watched, Harry chopped and sliced and mashed and baked his ingredients into a wonderful meal of chicken, mashed potatoes, and a medley of vegetables.

Harry's dinner was enjoyed by all 5 of the Potters, and following it, they all gathered into the living room for an hour of peaceful quiet. Minus the peaceful and quiet parts, though, for Ron had chosen that moment to step out of the shadows and launch his attack.

With a scream and a yell, Ron rushed in and immediately sliced Lily Luna's head clean off her shoulders, and stabbed Albus Severus in the chest with the steak knife. Blood from Lily Luna's newly decapitated head sprayed all over the room, while Albus Severus 's wound saw blood drip slowly and thick. Both died instantly. Before either Harry or Ginny could react, Ron spun around and threw three knives at James Sirius, slicing his left arm off, imbedding the second in his shoulder, and striking his liver with the third. James Sirius only lasted 12 seconds before succumbing to blood loss.

Ron turned around to once again face his former best friend and his sister. Harry was still comprehending what his eyes had just seen, and merely stood there with a confused expression in his complexion. Ginny, or the other hand, had comprehended the scene that had just unfolded, and went into a catatonic state. Ron, out of knives, simply went up to his final potential opposition and knocked him lights out with a left hook to the jaw.

Now stuck with only a catatonic Ginny remaining, Ron figured that he had time, and looked around the room. A couple of seconds passed before his eyes wondered over some rope in the corner. Knowing that at any moment, Ginny could come out of her state, or Harry could regain consciousness, Ron quickly went over and took the rope, before returning to his new captives and tying them up. And then he began to wait.

However, Ron was impatient and out for blood. So he shook his sister out of her state and wandlessly silenced her before she could begin wailing. Then, turning to Harry, he simply sent him a wandless _enervate_ , also hitting him with a _silencio_.

"Hello, Potter. Fancy meeting you again, isn't it? Yeah? No? Well, I guess it isn't, because we have some unfinished business to take care of. You see, you're supposed to be dead. You're supposed to be chatting with your family and friends. You're supposed to be an urn full of ashes buried six feet underground. But you're not. You are here, tied up, in the living room of your manor. You are here, surrounded by the corpses of your three offspring, covered in their blood. You are here, thinking of ways that you could possibly get out of this mess. You are here, alive, much later than you should have ceased living. You are here, experiencing your worst nightmare.

"You shouldn't have survived that night, Potter. You should have died, like you were supposed to. But you didn't die. You didn't die because your mudblood of a mother had the audacity to perform soul magic to protect you from him.

"But, oh, and listen up, Potter, because this is where it gets interesting. Your mother's magic might have spared you from him, but it won't save you from me."

With that, Ronald walked up to his formerly beloved sister, and placed calculated incisions into her soft pale flesh all over her body, seemingly in a random pattern. But by the time he was done carving into his sister's skin, she looked like a rune stone. He then began chanting in an ancient Gaelic tongue, repeating the phrase over and over again, each time slightly increasing in volume. After a few minutes, her body started glowing, until she burst into flames and burned on the spot.

After that, he turned back to his one-time best friend, and, grabbing the knife that ended his daughter's life, slowly sliced off digits from his hand. He methodically proceeded from one finger to the next, before doing the same to his toes.

"Today is the day, Potter. Today is the day, where I finally make history. Today is the day where I will finally destroy the Boy-Who-Lived." Ron began to shorten Harry's arms and legs. " And all of this is thanks to our dear friend Hermione, who helped me overcome my fear of needles. Thanks to her, I was able to stick the bobby pin into the keyhole and maneuver it just right to pick the lock. Thanks to her, I escaped death row. Thanks to her, I was able to exact my revenge. Thanks to her, I am able to make history. Any last words, Pot- Oh, you're already dead. Darn. Okay then. . . I'll decapitate you anyways, just for good measure.

"Goodbye, Harry Potter. I hope you hated every second of it."


End file.
